I change my mind.
“I change my mind.” An idea that seems simple enough.
But perhaps there's a little more to it, a deeper lesson to take from it.
This phrase has played many roles in my life. There have been times when it felt weak to let go of a position, open myself up and accept that I had been “wrong.” Admittedly, over my lifetime there have been MANY more moments of digging in than there have been moments that I’ve felt bold and proud and secure enough to reevaluate and move on without any drama or hand wringing or fanfare.
“I change my mind.” It’s a statement that can truly leave you open and vulnerable.
And the more I learn to see vulnerability as a path to freedom, the more I’ve changed my perspective on this simple phrase. There are two valuable lessons to take from it.
My mind is changeable.
The changing gets to be done by ME.
First, I think we forget the fact that we can reanalyze ANYTHING we’ve committed to. At anytime. And we should probably do it more often.
There are pieces of our identity, opinions, even personality traits that we have held onto for so long, they seem to be part of WHO WE ARE. But this is not true. Anything, and I mean ANYTHING, can be something to let go of.
“Turn it in on a new model” as my Grandpa use to say.
Try it today. Think of something that is causing you pain, or frustration, and follow any thread back to your identity or a belief that you hold near and dear. And just for fun, pretend that that so-called truth was not so. Pretend that you didn’t have someone in your life who’s causing you pain. Pretend that you didn’t believe in whatever is behind the judgment you’re beating yourself up with. Pretend that you can just let go.
You don’t have to do it forever. Just a moment can be enough to open your mind and heart up to other possibilities.
And the second piece, the idea that I get to be the one changing my mind, now this is where there is true POWER.
Once we know there are other options, we can choose to stay. We can hold on to beliefs and identities that are keeping us safe and small and comfortable. But we don’t have to.
We get to choose.
There are times when the pain we have doesn’t feel fair, and we would do anything to get rid of it. But so much of the time we don’t look to the source of the pain (our thoughts) as a place to make these changes.
I challenge you to try this one too. It’s not easy or fun to dig this deep. But when you are ready, I just want you to have this gentle reminder that there are options.
All of this is based on the understanding that HOW WE FEEL is governed by our own thoughts, not by outside events or circumstances or *ahem* even other people’s behavior. It’s our interpretation of that, our judgements, and our own beliefs. This can truly be a hard pill to swallow (I know, I struggle with it often). But it’s something to either accept & integrate into our outlook on life, or to not accept it (and then nothing I have to say on this matter will ring true or even really make much sense).
So. If our thoughts are the source of how we feel, and if most of spend at least some of our time struggling with feelings of lack, insecurity, anxiety, restlessness, fear, depression, etc. ( the world is a scary & stressful place right now, on many levels, isnt’ it?)...
then the fact that we can change how we perceive the messages and interactions we are faced with every day, means we really CAN change the way we feel.
And who doesn't long for that kind of control?
So as you try this all on for size, consider a couple examples.
“I’m overwhelmed & can’t get anything accomplished.” Or…
I change my mind: I’m doing my absolute BEST under the current circumstances & I am spending my energy on what I value the most right now.
“They’re driving me nuts & I can’t get over it.” Or…
I change my mind: I’ve decided to stop allowing someone else, who is in pain and has their own struggles, to determine my mood & what I focus on today. I’m putting my love and attention towards something, some one, I deeply care about instead.
”I can’t afford it (time or money), there just isn’t enough to do or have what I want.” Or…
I change my mind: I believe in abundance, and recognize the evidence that I’ve always been taken care of, that I’m currently okay & that there are many ways forward - some of which I can't even see right now. But I choose to stay open to possibility, and put down this hammer I’ve been beating myself up with. The answers are on their way.
With love,
~ Marit
